Last night, I fought with my mom…again.
I was telling her about this survey that I read on Shapely Prose. I told her about the four factors of health: little to no alcohol, no smoking, exercise and eating fruits and vegetables that can lead to a longer life regardless of weight. On the surface, she agreed with the article, which was cool. But does she take note of the fact that I’ve got three out of the four healthy factors down pat?
No, she focuses on the one that needs more work and harps on it. I kinda lost it and went off and she got mad and hung up on me.
In trying to figure out how I felt about the whole thing and looking for the underlying issues that caused me to react the way I did, I came to a very important realization.
My mother can never accept me as the beautiful, healthy, active, happy fat woman that I am until she stops hating herself.
And I will never feel like I measure up in her eyes until she sees me for what I am, instead of what I’m not.
Now, I just have to figure out a non-accusatory way of explaining this to her. *sigh*